One More Time Around

In my blog, I will be addressing many people whom have touched my life in some way or another. I realize it is popular to focus on all those who wrong you, and the wrongs they bring about. But a hard fact; everyone will wrong you... sometime. Forgiveness is a lesson born out of bringing peace to yourself, not to others.

Today is my mom's birthday. She now has her own blog, so check it out. She is an amazing woman. I have not always felt that way...

As a younger version of myself, my vision was tunneled. Isn't that usually the case? lol. I felt during those moments that my life was terrible, that I was not understood. I indulged in that (as most teenagers do...) and blamed my parents. My mom was a heartfelt crusader for the deaf (all my siblings are affected by hearing loss), but not for me. Looking back, she set aside her world for me often, and still does. She is my best friend. So daughters, take heart, even if the sky is falling, you can end up best friends. Happy birthday Mom, my life is better daily because you are in it.

So there is a reference to a song which I truly love, I will try to post a link if you'd like to hear it. We all have the ability to go 'home.' Home may mean many things to many people, but in the core of our souls, it is the same place. A place we feel unconditional love, valued, peace. Much of this world lives without those things in their hearts.

The current political climate blows my mind. How can a people with so much truth, so many blessings, such clear spiritual direction foster a cauldron of hate? People, be cautious of your words, of your attitudes. Disagreement is a fact of life. Don't let it create an environment of division. With so many personalities running around this earth, the only real unity we have is spiritual, and that is born from respect, from charity, from love. Let us be the one, take the stand, have the courage to help those without to find 'home.' Don't we all need someone to take our hand and lead us there sometimes? Be kind.

It has been my fortune to gain this from the place we are supposed to. My parents. Today's thanks goes to them, for all they are has allowed me to have to courage to attempt to be who I really am. My heart breaks for the millions of children left without what I have.

"One more time around, is all I ask for now, a star to steer by will you take me home again?"--QR

Missed Opportunities

Last night, I did something I regret. As I watched a moment that is as perfect a moment as can possibly happen, I let a fear, an insecurity, a hesitation take hold of me. A little backstory...

There is a man I know who recieved an award last night. It was well deserved. I should have taken a moment to relay my feelings, but I didn't. I let some difficult and painful things cloud the moment, his moment, and indulged in my own problems. For this I apologize, and am taking it as a sign, that I need to continue to strive, to move forward, to repair damages and make resolutions. So, my first blog will be what I would have said had I taken the step.

Richard. I still remember the first thing you said to me. We were at a tournament and I had just joined Omega, eager to 'show off' or rather to prove to myself I really belonged with you guys. ;-) Anyway, you had just returned from your mission and were full of energy. You did look pretty dorky though, in your black uniform and black sparring pads that you had your pants tucked into. I had never seen anyone wear their pads like that. We were introduced, and I made some smart- alecky comment about your apperance, and you said "I am the black knight!!!" Then you growled. I walked away. For years, your mom thought we hated each other.

I remember your wedding. Kim looked so gorgeous, and I felt insecure around you guys, you looked like you belonged on a cover of a magazine. You and your brothers sang. I wondered if I would ever have that. Then I had my own beautiful wedding. But only after you told me to "choose love over everything else." Do you remember that day? I was going to move to Seattle. You told me to stay and marry Tim.

I have watched you grow and settle, learn to love more freely, to tolerate those with differences, to make a difference of your own. I have seen you make that difference with so many of those you teach, but did not realize the difference you made in me until this last year.

We had a knock down drag out. I ignored you. You wouldn't stop calling me. I called you a few names, you challenged my logic. A verbal sparring match born of a moment of weakness, not to be unexpected at some time or another. I became defensive and said we weren't that good of friends anyway, and then I was blown away by you. Thank you. You are an amazing man, an amazing leader, and most of all, an amazing friend. You inspire me. 10 years ago I would have never thought you would ever really matter to me, as I have always been closer to your brother and your mom, but this has truly been a case of not being able to see the forest for the trees. Thanks for not giving up. Thanks for being humble, and for being strong. Thanks for being you.